- Mother Theresa
Even though each day there is at least a couple positive progressions that we are so happy that Colton has achieved, sometimes there are days that just don't appear to be as good as others. The doctors and nurses here gave us fair warning that a baby's NICU stay would be a roller coaster of emotions. And they were 100% right … it is!
Today Colton had a great day, it was more my emotions that got in the way of my own happiness turned into worry. The doctors are no longer checking his bilirubin levels for jaundice so that issue has resolved itself and Colton will no longer need the bilirubin light on him. This is such a huge relief! And he's gaining weight daily! Today his weight increased to 3 lbs. 15.6 ounces. Soooo close to 4 lbs…we're hoping by tomorrow he'll reach that 4 lb. milestone which would be so great!!!
And while he had these two GREAT things happen today, there still can be other things that completely take over this greatness and make a mother (and father) worry. As I was holding him today after his feeding he experienced 5 'brady episodes' in an hour. These episodes were most likely caused by reflux but they are still extremely scary for me. As the doctors put it: Brady episodes are scary for parents but completely normal through the eyes of doctors and nurses. Needless to say I was extremely scared.
The docs think the feeding tube that goes down into his stomach and keeps the flap open that lies between the esophagus and his stomach is contributing to his reflux. It's normal for full-term babies, let alone preemies, to have reflux and they typically won't treat it with medication but rather let a preemie grow out of it.
I'm scared because:
- Bradies are episodes where his heart rate drops and, at times, he can stop breathing for 15-20 seconds. Most of Colton's bradies right now are caused by reflux so its mainly his heart rate dropping rather than any stoppage of breathing. Which I guess is good. Needless to say, any mother would worry when their baby's heart rate drops and/or the baby stops breathing.
- And I'm probably more upset and saddened as he continues to have these bradies because a baby in the NICU can't go home while still experiencing brady episodes. Before he can go home they have to take him off the caffeine that is helping with his bradies for at least a week, and then after that week he has to go without a brady for 6 additional days. That's at least a two week wait…and that's just best case scenario that he doesn't have a brady episode at all during that period of time, which is highly unlikely.
As we approach his 34 week mark and nearly 3 weeks in the NICU, I of course, am starting to look forward and become anxious for Colton to come home. Therefore, as these bradies continue my mind automatically thinks each brady equals a longer NICU stay. Which is technically true.
If Colton were to have to stay in the NICU until his due date, as of today we'd have 44 more days here in the NICU. When put in perspective, 44 days isn't that long of a time period…however, for us, it's an eternity!
What I've learned during these past 2 1/2 weeks in the NICU is that each day is a new day and I must take one day at a time and try not to think longer term. Because sometimes a new day can generate big, positive surprises!
Some photos from today…
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| So precious |
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| Nightly feeding and quality time with Daddy |
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